Enneagram Type 6: The Ultimate Guide

🤩 Enneagram Type 6 Celebrities

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Enneagram Type 6 in Love & Relationships

1️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

Ones and Sixes often work synergistically in the pursuit of making a better world and correcting injustice. They are sensitive to each other and dedicated. But Ones can feel criticized and dig in with their “one right way” stance when Sixes question or doubt or seem inconsistent. A cycle of escalating conflict and blame can result when the One becomes more critical and angry, feeling that nothing can make the Six secure and certain. In turn, the Six can question the One to the point of becoming accusatory and mistrusting, feeling nothing can satisfy the One’s “one right way” of being. All of this can lead to pain and even disruption or an end to the relationship.

2️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

Twos want to help doubting, questioning Sixes who seem to need support and reassurance. Moving forward to help out, they may find that Sixes mistrust and resist intrusion and test Twos’ motives. Thus, while appreciating Twos support and care, Sixes may back off from or confront what they experience as too much attention. Twos, while appreciating the Six’s usual warmth and loyalty, may then feel unappreciated, turned off, or rejected by the Six’s seeming negativity. A cycle of escalating conflict can result polarizing the situation with the Six getting accusatory and the Two getting emotional. Withdrawal can ensue as one or the other or both types attempt to reduce distress. Eventually, this pattern can cause a lasting disruption of the relationship.

3️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

When sharing a common purpose or goal, Threes and Sixes can complement each other well with an action orientation balanced by thoughtful downside analysis. When Threes push ahead, somewhat blind to potential hazards and what can go wrong, Sixes can react with caution and contrary thinking about pitfalls and worst case scenarios. A cycle of escalating conflict can take place with the Three seeing this as putting up obstacles to progress and success, which evokes impatience and a push forward into action. The Six then can feel unheard and discounted, which increases his or her doubt and mistrust. This can spiral into a web of angry allegations and eventually estrangement.

4️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

Fours are attracted to Sixes’ loyalty, warmth, tenacity, intellectual curiosity, and ability to deeply experience life. Sixes appreciate the creative flair, authenticity or genuineness, and depth of heartfelt feeling of Fours. But conflict arises when the Four seem insatiable in wanting what is lacking and when their feelings change dramatically. Then, the Six may feel unsupported and doubt the Four’s intentions. Attempting both to help the Four out of suffering and to gain certainty, proof, and reassurance, the Six either tries to “fix” the Four or gets controlling and accusatory. This, in turn, can generate a cycle of escalating conflict, which leads to further disappointment, hurt, and demands for attention by the Four accompanied by the push-pull pattern of alternatingly spurning and embracing the Six, which tends to magnify or heighten his or her doubts and mistrust of the relationship. Angry outbursts, accusations, and withdrawal may be the result disrupting the relationship.

5️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

Fives and Sixes appreciate their shared characteristics of thoughtful intellectual analysis, respect for boundaries, sensitivity, and non-demandingness. Still when the Five doesn’t share feelings and guards his or her need for privacy by retracing or disengaging, the Six can project doubts and concerns about care and trust and become intrusive and questioning out of a need for more reassurance and involvement. A cycle of escalating conflict can result with the Five experiencing the Six as making too many demands. So in response, the Five most likely will retract and detach, further eroding the Six’s trust. This cycle can spiral downward disrupting the relationship as the Six expresses intensified fears and allegations and the Five responds with bursts of anger and further retreat, eventually ending the relationship.

6️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

Sixes often have doubts and concerns about what they see as a hazardous, unpredictable world they can’t quite trust. Hence, they often are uniquely suited to support and protect each other because they share this worldview. Conflict arises, however, around differing doubts, fears, and concerns. When it occurs each Six can become contrary, oppositional, and mistrusting of the other. If this escalates into a cycle of increasing conflict, difficulties can get magnified, resulting in angry allegations. The relationship can polarize around these differences with neither feeling supported or understood and both magnifying the other’s power or authority. While the more counterphobic Six becomes more challenging and confrontive, the more phobic Six becomes more withdrawing. This ultimately can disrupt and even end the relationship if neither takes responsibility for what they are projecting onto the other.

7️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

When Sixes’ “negative” read and Sevens’ “positive” read on events balance each other out, Sixes enjoy Sevens’ optimism and pleasure orientation, and Sevens enjoy the wit and restraint offered by Sixes. A cycle of increasing conflict can ensue, however, when the Six attempts to counteract the Seven’s seeming excessive optimism and think that his or her “legitimate” concerns are being dismissed. The Seven may become impatient with what seems like the Six’s “irrational” negativity, mistrust, and limit setting. Then the Six often believes that the Seven just can’t be counted upon. This leads to the Six’s mistrust escalating, which results in further attempts to set limits. The Seven, who deplores limits, then tries to escape, providing rationalizations for his or her point of view. Finally, polarization and episodes of angry allegations can disrupt and even dissolve the relationship.

8️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

Sixes and Eights often join together in supporting each other’s causes and actions with Eights encouraging Sixes to take action. A cycle of increasing conflict occurs when the Eight gets impatient with the Skeptic’s fears, doubts, and contrariness and tests for the “bottom line.” Then the Six may feel pushed and intimidated by the Eight’s aggression, which they often unwittingly magnify. Furthermore, the Eight’s “all or nothing” position can disturb the Six. Angry confrontations may occur, causing either one to withdraw. Confrontation can also result in hurt acquiescence on the more phobic Six’s part. Ultimately, the cycle of confrontation and counter-confrontation or withdrawal can lead to alienation and a lasting disruption of the relationship.

9️⃣ ❤️ 6️⃣

Sixes and Nines often harmonize through their efforts to create a predictable, supportive, and secure relationship. Both tend to go along to get along, but the Six can experience the Nine’s distractibility and passiveness as a lack of caring or an inability to see potential hazards. A cycle of increasing conflict may ensue with the Nine, experiencing the Six’s anxiety and worry as excessive and reproachful and then may try to convince the Six that the concerns are irrational. The Nine may dig in, getting stubborn and oppositional, and not do what he or she seemingly agreed upon especially when the Six becomes provocative and even questioning to the point of becoming bitingly critical. This can end in stalemates, angry blaming, and withdrawal that threaten the viability of the relationship.

Source: David Daniels

Enneagram Type 6 at Work

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High Side

Generous helpers who bring out the best in others; assiduous, friendly, openhearted, full of enthusiasm and praise; kind, determined, loving, engagé, nurturing

Low Side

Seductive flatterers; behind-the-scenes manipulators who meet other people's needs for their own purposes; martyrs; chameleons who change to please others

Leadership Style

Cheerleaders and appreciators of people; management by enthusiastic encouragement; reflected glory

Communication Style

Compliments, cajoling, personal questions, seductive charm

Good Work Setting

Work with people: therapy, sales, health care, service

Difficult Work Setting

Work without or or against people: accountant, forest ranger, scientific research, collection agent

Books

The Mary Kay Way by Mary Kay Inc.
Leadership Is an Art by Max De Pree
Servant Leadership by Robert Greenleaf

Twos are "people" people, and for them every business is a people business. Jim Autry, the former publishing executive, succinctly states the Two credo when he writes, "There is no busniess. There are only people." Mary Kay Ash, the cosmetics magnate and one of the most successful woman entrepreneurs ever, is a Two. "To me 'P & L' meant much more than profit and loss," she wrote; "it meant people and love."

Twos zero in on the emotional needs of individuals around them–their boss, colleagues, or customers–and then deftly, actively, relentlessly, expertly respond to them. They are what psychoanalyst Harry Guntrip called "the doing breast." They are the extraordinarily prescient secretary or personal assistant and the empathic, nurturing, I-take-care-of-my-brood boss. Twos see themselves as–and often are–the power behind the throne.

As such, Twos have considerable power and influence. They can make their lack of formal authority seem fairly irrelevant. When I worked in a small government agency, the agency director's secretary, a Two, essentially ran the whole place. As the boss's gatekeeper–a standard Two position–she determined who got to see him and when, and what papers reached his desk. He was a Six who was grateful that she kept supplicants at bay. She knew his priorities; she expertly ministered to his bosses; and she took personal care of him: she was not offended to fetch his coffee and his lunch.

Twos can be true guardian angels of a project or an organization. They are responsible, engaged, and accountable. Genuinely empathetic, they build their lives around the people who matter to them. They sense when someone's feelings are hurt, and they know what to do to soothe them. They pick up on potential animosity between co-workers and make skillful efforts to bring them together.

For his part, the Two doesn't ask for much, directly. But there's a catch. Twos believe that by exepertly meeting your needs, they should get theirs met, also expertly.

And what Twos want as their part of the bargain is for people they value (like you) to depend on and therefore appreciate them. Seductive, skilled at pulling those hidden strings, they are as adept at making others depend on them as Threes are at getting the job done. Gradually Twos become powerful and influential because important people rely on them.

Twos run a seductive bait-and-switch power game. "I am only here to help you get well," says the Two nurse, "and in order for me to do that, things must be done just my way." The Two takes control, but only for your benefit.

They enjoy basking in the reflected glory, particularly in the appreciation they get for being the linchpin: central and essential. "Aren't I a damn fine therapist?" asks my friend Susan when she hears of the worldly successes of one of her clients.

Twos at their best offer healtfelt, customized service without strings; at their worst, they may implicate you in a tangle of unspoken obligations. Many twos have elements of both types.

Source: The 9 Ways of Working, Michael J. Goldberg

Enneagram Type 6 Parenting & Children

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Enneagram Sixs as Parents

are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
are often playful with their children
wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
can become fiercely protective

Enneagram Sixs as Children

are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
are outwardly compliant
are popular or try to be popular with other children
act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)

Source: The Enneagram Made Easy, Baron & Wagele

Ten Common Problems with Enneagram Type 6 Children

Getting to School on Time

Type Two children generally want to be good and get to school on time. For many, though, the drama of dealing with a homeless kitten found on the way will take precedence. Hopefully, their teacher will see the virtue in this if it doesn't happen too often.

Study Habits

Two-ish children, more than others, may want to continue interacting with their classmates when school lets out instead of buckling down to homework. If possible, have them start their homework right after school, and reward them with free time later. If separation from their friends is too wrenching, either have them do their homework together or schedule it regularly for later in the day. Since Two-ish children are sensitive and want to please, give them consistency and structure and try not to treat them in a heavy-handed way.

Manners

Most children in the Helper style are well behaved and polite–superficially at least. For those who are excitable and attention seeking, think of constructive outlets for their energy and have projects ready for when riding in the car, on the bus, and so on. Enforce certain rules, such as no grabbing at others' belongings and no hitting, but otherwise teach them manners little by little. In some Two-ish children, disobedience could be a positive sign that they're willing to risk disapproval. Two-style children may hide or deny their hostile feelings, even while expressing them. If someone suggests Two-ish children have angry motivations, they either may have no idea what the person is talking about or may become devastated. Let them know over a period of time that moderate anger is acceptable to you, both from them and from people in general. Tell them it's okay to be angry.

Getting Along with Others

Some Type 2 children are socially adept. However, they may have a tendency to be manipulative, overly controlling, or bossy. When they're direct and treat others fairly, be sure to praise them. If they uncharacteristically shy away from other children, look for possible reasons and talk to them about it. Take charge and invite classmates over to have a party, draw, or play games. Try to teach them they don't need approval from everyone.

Sleeping and Eating Habits

With all children, avoid serious conflicts over sleeping and eating. If they have problems with sleeping or if they experience night terrors, try and comfort them. If they're fussy eaters, trust this to improve with age. Don't interfere by critizing, hovering over them, or putting them on diets. If problems persist, seek professional help.

Get-Up-and-Go

Wanting to be with other children usually motivates Two-ish children. See if you can encourage enthusiasm for nonsocial as well as social activities. Take Two-ish children to visit some workplaces: yours or your friends'. Go for a walk in the woords or on the beach just to be together in nature without talking. Enroll them in interesting classes, and take them to a large variety of museums, aquariums, and other sights.

Standing Up for Himself or Herself

Most Type Two children are extroverted and want to be seen in a good light. Take their opinions seriously and express your confidence in them in order to help them become more self-reliant and assertive. Some give in too easily, but others are spunky and can be extremely persuasive.

Decision-Making

Type Two children are often out of touch with their real desires: they may wait and see what everyone else is going to do, or they may do what they think will make others like them. Help them connect with themselves by asking which tastes, colors, and smells they prefer.

Emotional Maturity

Type 2 children live in the world of relationships and feelings. It's very important to them to be liked. Balance their focus on people by telling them about the world and how things work. If you don't accept their emotionality, they may feel you don't love them, so listen to their hurts and take their feelings seriously. They need a large base of support; if they receive sufficient approval at home, they won't need to seek it in unhealthy ways. Try to see conflicts their way, and encourage them to be direct.

Responsibility

Type 2 children get practice being responsible by doing what they love to do: taking care of pets, soothing friends, and trying to help people solve problems. They can read people well, and they may use this ability either for great good or to get their way. Steer them away from manipulating others by being direct yourself; let her know you are letting her go to her friend's house to wrap gifts because you really like the idea, not just because she charmed you into it. Some styles of chlidren, especially Twos and Threes, are more focused on what others think about them (their image) than with what they think or feel themselves. If your child is a Two and you're not, try to accept your differences, and be ready to help your child develop his or her own values and individuality.

Source: The Enneagram of Parenting, by Elizabeth Wagele

Instinctual Variants of Enneagram Type 6

⛰️ Self-Preservation Six (SP6)

The Self Preservation 2: the passion of pride in the Self Preservation zones. I translate pride here as: "I don't need this, but YOU do, so let me do this for you." Pride here means let me attend to your SP needs. This kind of 2 gets concerned about the health, wellbeing, and practical needs of others.

SP2s can be quiet powerhouses--Don used to call them "the iron fist in the velvet glove." As SP dominant types, they have strong willpower and know-how to get things done. But of all the 2s they have the most inhibition about doing things for themselves. Shame arises around need.

Self Preservation Twos may have skills in any of the SP zones, but tend to project their needs so it can be harder to detect. An SP2 may be a great healer, yet lack self-care. SP2s can wear themselves out doing their best to make sure others are cared for. They can be practical for others too.

When troubled, SP2 can develop psychosomatic problems–their bodies pay the bill for unprocessed emotions. Of the Twos they are more likely to seek sympathy for their sacrifices. But at their best, they learn genuine self-care and can be truly gifted at addressing real needs.

Naranjo called SP2 "Me First," but I find this one of the most problematic names. It has also led to people thinking of this as "the 2 that doesn't give" which in my experience is actually another type. And it overlooks the nature and particular distortion that pride creates.

Thus, in Naranjo's 27 subtypes, the careTwo, self-sacrificing type disappears. It is not described. Clearly, there are many people for whom this is a central structure. Again, pride means "I don't need it. But I can give it to you." This gets focused in different instincts.

I have called SP2 "Entitlement" and "Rewards." After giving so much to others, I deserve to get MY self preservation needs met. I have earned them. But often our "rewards" are not what we actually need, i.e., sugar. Self Preservation 2 inner critic can be harsh–I can address my needs AFTER helping others.

Self preservation Two is a great example of how type doesn't tell us everything. SP2s can be creative, brilliant, talented, funny and many other wonderful qualities. Yet the PATTERN of SP2 tends to be what I get caught in--what limits the true expression of my gifts and keeps me alienated from myself.

A personal point on SP2: I am always moved by the fundamental kindness and care of SP2s that extends to every kind of being, as well as their understanding that life is about service. SP2s may have great knowledge and skill, but they know that such gifts are for the benefit of all.

☀️ Social Six (SO6)

The Social 2: pride in the Social zones. "I don't need this but you do. Let me do that for you." S02s are the matchmakers of the Enneagram, supporting people and causes they believe in and see ways people can connect for mutual benefit. They are good mentors, seeing the gifts of others.

Social Twos are more often successful working with organizations than the other 2s. They have good emotional intelligence although they often FEEL awkward themselves. People generally like them although when they are insecure, others may notice them trying to hard to be appreciated.

SO2s focus on the building relationship zone of SO. They remember things about people & have a gift for making others feel included, wanted, and appreciated. They make their way in life by using their social gifts to create alliances around their work and meaningful causes.

When troubled, SO2s can overbearing & manipulative, often w/o realizing it. Their efforts to make themselves important to others often alienate people. At their best, they create conditions of welcome, acceptance, and a powerful sense of shared purpose. Great facilitators.

Naranjo called S02 Ambition. Yes, but I'd call it UNCONSCIOUS ambition. Social Twos often do not realize how ambitious they are. They can even feel shame around their desires to be important/central, so rise through their affiliations w. others. I call SO2 Everybody's Friend.

The 2's capacity for noticing others emotions is strong here. SO2s move toward other people, making a point to create positive friendly interactions with strangers–getting a smile from the lady at the checkout counter. They are also more shrewd and political than the SP and SX 2s.

Social 2s are not careTwos like SP2s, but they help by nurturing capacities & by creating opportunities and connections for others. They take joy in seeing others flourish, but when less healthy are afraid of being cut out of relationships between people they've introduced or helped.

🔥 Sexual Six (SX6)

The Sexual 2: the passion of pride in the Sexual zones. For me, this is "I don't really need sexual energy, but you do, so let me give it to you." SX2s have high energy and are often quite outgoing. They engage the world with humor and a bold spirit and they are often mistaken for 7s.

Sexual Twos are often described as seductive, but really all SX types can be seductive. SX2s conquer the objects of their attraction by lavishing them with attention and interest. Even though they are good at transmitting their own SX charisma, their power lies in focusing on others.

Sexual 2s focus on the attraction and merging zones of SX inst. They have the ability to make other people feel attractive and desirable--a very winning formula. They pick up on the interests of those they are drawn to and learn about those interests. The seek to create deep connection

When troubled, SX2s can get obsessed with the objects of their attraction–feeling rejected yet unable to accept the rejection. This can lead to aggressive behavior. At their best, they are creative champions of others, deeply loyal friends and companions, and inspiring healers.

Naranjo called SX2 Aggression. True, but I feel this is too much part of the pathology of Sexual 2–not where most people will find themselves. I call this combo "Craving Intimacy." 2's desire for intimacy and closeness combines with SX instinct's need for energetic fusion.

The type and instinct combine here to create a powerful drive toward certain others. The result is a person who seeks intense closeness with specific people, although not with everyone! Sexual Twos want to have a few key relationships and to earn a special place in others' lives.

This drive for closeness can create problems with jealousy and possessiveness. But when SX2s work thru these issues they are extraordinary friends. They reclaim their own energy and can be highly creative, especially in the performing arts. They can convey powerful emotions.

It's interesting to note that all 2s often have many unused talents and capacities, i.e. math ability or skill in visual art. When 2s learn to reclaim themselves, finding their own beautiful center again, they often have a personal renaissance, exploring their once neglected gifts.

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Source: Russ Hudson on Twitter

Typing Enneagram Sixs

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Type Twos want to be liked by those who are in need, by important people, and by those who are important to them; attempt to feel worthy and valued by offering gifts, attention, resources, and advice to others; lose connection with what they themselves truly want and deeply need.

Type 1 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 1 and type 2 does happen, most commonly because type 1 and type 2 are adjacent to one another on the Enneagram and, therefore, are wings of each other. A person might be a 1 with a 2 wing or a 2 with a 1 wing. In additino, because 1s tend to be polite and gracious, this behavior can be confused with the friendliness and helpfulness of most 2s.

Type 2 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 2 and type 3 is quite common, primarily because both 2s and 3s are Heart Center types who are attuned to the reactions of others. They also sit adjacent on the Enneagram symbol and, therefore, are wings of one another. A person might be a 2 with a 3 wing or a 3 with a 2 wing. In addition, there can be an interesting combination of sweetness and toughness in both 2s and 3s. On the outside, 2s appear sweeter and kinder; however, many 2s have a strong inner will or backbone made of stainless steel. 3s, by contrast, can appear a little tougher on the outside, as if nothing really bothers them, but inside, many 3s are tender, sensitive, and kind.

Type 3 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 2 and type 4 occurs frequently, primarily because (1) both 2s and 4s are Heart Center types, sharing the common emotion of sadness or sorrow as an underlying emotional state and creating an image as a substitute for who they are underneath the image; (2) both are emotional types who are attuned to feelings, although 2s attune to the feelings of others and 4s attune more to their own feelings; and (3) both sit on the Enneagram symbol as allow lines of one another. A person might be a 2 with strong access to his or her 4 arrow or a 4 with strong access to his or her 2 arrow.

Type 4 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 2 and type 5 is not really that common for a number of reasons. First, 2s are formed in the Heart Center and are typically very warm and not hesitant to ask about the feelings of others. In fact, 2s ask others many questions of all kinds, with 2s perceiving this as a way of establishing and maintaining a good relationship. 5s, by contrast, are an Enneagram type formed in the Head Center, and they deal with the Head Center's central emotion of fear by cutting off from their feelings in real time, but also by withdrawing or pulling away from direct engagement with others. 5s rarely share their emotions with others unless they really trust the persona and are the least likely of all Enneagram types to ask inquisitive questions about another person's feeling state or personal life.

Type 5 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 2 and type 6 is not really that common, but it can happen if the person is a self-preservation subtype of either type. Self Preservation 6s are called "warm" 6s, and they use the warmth and friendliness as a hedge against their anxieties and insecurities. They draw people to them with their warmth and forge strong bonds, unconsciously reasoning that there is a safety in the protection of the group. Self-preservation subtype 2s are the most anxious of the 2s, and they can appear to need and want the protection of others. These 2s are also less trusting and more worried than the other two subtypes of 2 and, thus, share some similarities with self-preservation subtype 6s.

Type 7 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 2 and type 7 is reasonable common, even though there are distinct differences betwene the two types. 2s and 7s form part of what is called the "optimistic triad," which means they (along with type 9) tend to have a positive outlook on life, even embelling reality. Amplifying this confusion, social subtype 7, called "sacrifice," is a look-alike for type 2. These 7s will sacrifice their need to have what they want when they want it on behalf of the group–at least, momentarily–and may appear to themselves to be more like 2s.

Type 8 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 2 and type 8 reasonable common, especially, but not only, among women. The reason for that is that 2s and 8s are on arrow lines of one another; some 8 women, depending on their culture and family context, may perceive type as too bold or "masculine" and gravitate to their 2 arrow line. Male and female 2s also access their 8 arrow line when they get angry, access their own power, and take a strong stand on issues. Thus, 2s can, at times, be a force to be reckoned with, much like 8s. Similarly, when 8s are cmofrotable and open-hearted, they can be generous and deeply compassionate, much like 2s.

Type 9 vs Type 6

The confusion between type 2 and type 9 is one of the most common, and there are many reasnos for this. Even though 2s are a Heart Center type and 9s are a Body Center type, 9s can be very healtfelt, people-oriented, and relational, much like 2s. In addition, buth 2s and 9s are part of the "optimistic triad"–along with Enneagram 7s–so both 2s and 9s smile quite a lot and adept at interactions that cause others to feel good.

Source: The Art of Typing by Ginger Lapid Bogda

Enneagram Type 6 Harmonics (Handling Conflict)

Reactive

People whose dominant Harmonic approach is the reactive approach are emotionally reactive under stress. They tend to work themselves up when a problem happens and have a hard time containing their feelings. This emotional intensity allows them to feel the "realness" of the problem, even if it is a relatively small one. Venting their frustration allows them to move on to dealing with the issue. Wanting others to see the realness of the problem, they expect others to react emotionally. Such a reaction would confirm that others agree that indeed this is a big deal. If others don't respond in the way the Reactive approach types want, they may become even more frustrated and emotional. The Reactive approach is not naturally trusting of others. They have strong opinions and tastes and want to know where others stand. Their desire for a strong emotional response from others may be a test of trust.

Positive Outlook of Twos

Sixes can get into conflict by being too pessimistic, suspicious, and doubtful. Sixes tend to be very anxious people. They are always on the watch for dangers and threats. When conflicts or threats occur, their anxiety comes out, often as long rants, hysterical overreactions, and feelings of inferiority. Sixes want to trust others (and others often put their faith in Sixes), but remain wary of problems. Sometimes they let their guard down (when within the confines of the authority/belief). Other times, they keep their guard up to ensure that others do not take advantage of them.

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Source: Rob Fitzel

Enneagram Six with Five Wing (6/5 or 6w5)

1️⃣

Average 6/5

In average 6/5, the sixish needs to feel safe among friends is colored by a fiveish desire to pick things apart into their components. As a result, 6/5 is more likely than 6/7 to join groups whose memberships are highly homogeneous, and thus easier to understand. Unlike the more analytic 5/6, 6/5 is more interested in being liked than in understanding the situation, although both are important. 6/5 is typically a traditional, conservative person who wants to fit into a safe, trustworthy group.

Healthy 6/5

As balanced 6/5 becomes free of anxiety and reductionistic analysis, an endearing kind of gentility and good humor begins to emerge. Here is someone who laughs easily, with almost a sense of relief. Can it really be so simple to live and enjoy life? There is a feeling of relaxed good nature and certainty. This is a person you can trust, someone to rely on for true friendship.

With a further depth of understanding, 6/5 turns into a warm and profoundly loving brother or sister, someone who is in touch with real universal authority, internally and eternally available. 6/5 acts with quiet confidence, coming from a place of a peaceful faith. Essential sixness brings deep interpersonal bonding, essential fiveness builds penetrating perception, and nineish tranquility combines with eightish personal power.

Unbalanced 6/5

Unbalanced 6/5 begins to feel anxious and wants to run away to some safe place. Unable to trust inner or outer authority, a search begins for some explanation for the constant tension. Others are easy to blame, and by projecting the causes of anxiety outward, 6/5 can find a temporary kind of release.

But with increased stress, 6/5 loses faith in the blaming. No explanation for the anxiety satisfies, and the world begins to seem like a horrible, frightening game. Paranoia escalates. Very unbalanced 6/5 bounces rapidly from fearful withdrawal to tense, overconfident pretense. Everyone is out to get me, and there is no place to run. I'm frightened out of my wits, and I know I am headed for a complete breakdown, but maybe if I can get myself into enough trouble, someone will come and rescue me.

Appearance of 6/5

6/5 has the sixish desire to be attractive and likable, but the five wing's withdrawing, analytical nature sometimes makes it hard to know what it takes to be appealing. 6/5 can be extremely attractive, or somewhat scruffy, depending on level of balance and the strength of the wing. Sometimes 6/5 puts on a show of false toughness, dressing in utilitarian, unattractive clothes and assuming defensive, accusatory postures. Others prefer nonthreatening but stylish attire. It is rare to see a 6/5 who stands out because of exceptionally colorful clothing.

Careers for 6/5

Some 6/5s find work that combines belonging to a group with being alone. Janitors, forest rangers, taxi drivers, bus drivers. They might like to be involved in serious, dangerous protection activities, as police officers, fire fighters, spies, private investigators, paramedics, or ambulance drivers. Others pursue risky hobbies like hang-gliding, rock climbing, skydiving, or scuba while working as architects, train conductors, or electrical engineers. Some find ways to protect underprivileged people, becoming defense attorneys, politicians, or other sorts of advocates. There are 6/5 construction engineers, sanitary engineers, and evangelical ministers. Of course, 6/5s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.

Source: Intuitive Enneagram, Nick Turner

Enneagram Six with Seven Wing (6/7 or 6w7)

3️⃣

Average 6/7

When an average 6/7 feels anxious, the reaction is likely to be immediate and colorful. Unlike the more subdued 6/5, 6/7 is expected to react impulsively to stress. Instead of analyzing, 6/7 is more likely as a sevenish person jumps into action, sometimes in inappropriate ways. However, because the cautious sixness is more potent than the flamboyant seven-wing, 6/7 usually pulls back from extremes before they become too threatening, unlike the even less predictable 7/6. This inner conflict between flamboyance and caution can produce a person who is emotionally somewhat volatile, similar in some ways to 4/3.

Healthy 6/7

Balanced 6/7 has a feeling of firm steadiness, sure-footed and quiet. As sevenish impulsivity and sixish anxiety diminish, Sixes are replaced by a calm deliberateness. Although fun and companionship are still highly valued, the desperate longing for security has been converted into inner strength. This is someone who can become a true brother or sister, or a genuinely loving parent.

With further development, 6/7 finds a deep sense of belonging to the universe, and to mankind. Nineish calm and sixish faith combine with sevenish joy and fiveish perception. This is a person who values the relationship with the One Greatest Authority over all others. Through gentle, tolerant brotherhood, extremely balanced 6/7 shares with others a sense of eternal companionship and security.

Unbalanced 6/7

Unbalanced 6/7 is usually visibly desperate. Anxiety and insecurity become powerful controlling influences. Jumping from one colorful, emotional state to another, trying to find any way to silence the increasing sense of uncertainty and vulnerability, stressed 6/7 looks for someone out there who will help, but sees no one who can be trusted.

As tension mounts, highly stressed 6/7 will try anything to escape from the increasingly intolerable situations that arise. Others move away from a person whose impulsive grabbiness and dependent gestures become unpleasantly intrusive. Physical illness, car troubles, boyfriends, girlfriends, landlords, all become scapegoats for the real problem of helpless emotional dependence. You are either all-good or all-bad, and whether I like you or not can change from moment to moment. My very identity splits into fragments as I desperately cut myself into pieces to escape the horrible sense of impending catastrophe.

Appearance of 6/7

6/7s can be quite physically attractive. The sixish desire to be liked combines with sevenish sensuality and vanity, and the result could be someone who can dress and act in a remarkably appealing way. There is sometimes a shy sort of cuteness, even in the males, or perhaps a macho sort of masculine charm or a coyly innocent feminine sexuality. 6/7 likes to be clearly of one sex or the other, unlike the more gender-neutral sevens.

Careers for 6/7

Some 6/7s find work that lets them have fun while feeling safe. Cartoonists, actors, comedians, magicians, social satirists, talk show hosts. Movie reviewers, baseball players, singers and Threes. Others deliberately dive into adventure, becoming explorers, test pilots, tour guides, or travel reporters. There are 6/7 security guards, police officers, airline pilots, secretaries, bus drivers, and sports announcers. Of course, 6/7s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.

Source: Intuitive Enneagram, Nick Turner

Enneagram Type 6 Music

🎼

🎭
Enneagram Type 6 Fictional Characters

Arnold Shortman • Hey Arnold

Snow White • Disney's Snow White

Sandy Olsson • Grease

Wanda • The Fairly OddParents

Annie Wilkes • Misery

Kim Boggs • Edward Scissorhands

Luisa Madrigal • Encanto

Baymax • Big Hero 6

Peeta Mellark • Hunger Games

Andrew Clark • Breakfast Club

Ned Flanders • The Simpsons

Meryl Burbank • The Truman Show

Maddy Perez • Euphoria

Joi • Blade Runner

Millie • Helluva Boss

Gepetto • Pinocchio

Martha Nielsen • Dark

Princess Anna • Frozen

Invisible Woman Sue Storm • Fantastic Four

Papa Smurf • The Smurfs

Davos Seaworth • Game of Thrones

Princess Peach • Super Mario Brothers

Barney the Dinosaur • Barney and Friends

Claire Standish • Breakfast Club

Phyllis Lapin • The Office

Jean Gray • Marvel Comics

Vanessa Abrams • Gossip Girl

Betty Cooper • Archie Comics

Anastasia Steele • 50 Shades of Grey

Fairy Godmother • Cinderella

Cher Horowitz • Clueless

Lily Aldrin • How I Met Your Mother

Groot • Guardians of the Galaxy

Betsy • Taxi Driver

Kitty Forman • That 70s Show

Primrose Everdeen • Hunger Games

Ted Lasso • Ted Lasso

Doc • Disney's Snow White

Paddington Bear • Paddington Bear

Rose Nylund • Golden Girls

Kronk • The Emperor's New Groove

Diana Prince • Wonder Woman

Wendy Darling • Peter Pan

Lois Griffin • Family Guy

Rubeus Hagrid • Harry Potter

Clark Kent • Superman

Donald "Jared" Dunn • Silicon Valley

Effie Trinket • Hunger Games

Sean Maguire • Good Will Hunting

Fiona • Shrek

Daphne Blake • Scooby Doo

How Enneagram Type 6 Can Level Up (Personal Growth)

🏅

☑️ Put Your Own Needs First.

When Twos put their own needs first, they become healthier, grounded and more relaxed. This enables them to be more capable of meeting the needs of others.

“

Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what's left of you.

Katie Reed

☑️ Express Your Needs and Desires.

When a Two is able to communicate their needs to those close to them, others are able to help meet the Two's needs. This will prevent the Two from becoming resentful.

“

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

Harry S Truman

☑️ Learn to Say “No” .

Twos have a hard time saying “No” when others need them. But this can lead to Twos becoming overextended and exhausted. Saying “No” more often helps the Two to remain balanced and at ease.

“

When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”

Brené Brown

☑️ Ask Others What They Need (If Anything).

Twos have a talent for anticipating the needs of their loved ones. But rather than assuming that others need you to do something for them, check in with them. This will prevent them from feeling intruded upon.

“

When one loves, one does not calculate.

Saint Thérèse of Lisieux

☑️ Learn Love Languages

There are many ways to express love, and others may be showing the Two affection and appreciation in ways the Two might not recognize. Learning the many ways that others show love can help the Two feel appreciated more often.

Source: The Heroic Enneagram, by Marshall Æon

Enneagram Type 6 Spirituality

✨

"The Enneagram is a lens that can be used independently of any spiritual, religious, or mystical belief. Both religious and non-religious people can find immense value in using the Enneagram. However, some people find value in examining their spiritual lives through the lens of the Enneagram. This brings greater objectivity and self-awareness to the spiritual path. Many Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and atheists have found the Enneagram complementary to their unique views and beliefs." –Marshall Æon

"Two is the part of us that is aware of heart connection, is aware of relatedness, of how none of us is alone. And we're here to take care of each other, to address each other's needs, to be sensitive to the needs of others. Two is the part of us where our heart goes out to others. And so people who are Twos, that's a primary value to the people who are thinking about other people. They're the people who are focused on the needs of others, there are people for whom love and kindness is a huge value. And when Twos are in their power, they're just amazing at being sensitive to people and what's needed and what will help the relational world work. The challenge, though, is that they can get so focused on that, that they forget to take care of their own needs. And the more that they do that, the more it tends to disrupt their relationships. It makes it very hard for them to speak to what they need, and it tends to cause them to do things for other people that they don't necessarily want or require. Of course, that can make things quite painful for the Twos and very difficult for the people that they care about. "

–Russ Hudson

The Holy Ideas of Point 2: Holy Will, Holy Freedom

Because what happens is the functioning of the organism that is the universe, there is no randomness to the changes that occur within it. Events may appear random to our subjective point of view, but from an objective perspective, an inherent intelligence is seen to be operating, moving things in a particular direction. As Albert Einstein is reputed to have said, “God does not play dice with the universe.” This means that the universe does not function mechanically; it is a living, conscious presence, so its functioning is an organic unfoldment. Perceiving that the functioning of the universe has a particular momentum, and moves in a particular direction with a particular intelligence and a particular force, is the meaning of Holy Will. You are seeing, in other words, that there is a unified will in the total functioning of the universe. Implicit in this perception is seeing all change in the universe as a functioning, a doing. This means that the movement of a star is action and not simply change; it is the action of Holy Truth.

So Holy Will is nothing mysterious, but very few people actually come to know it directly. It is a very subtle and deep perception of the operation of Holy Truth. At the same time, we can experience it as whatever is happening at any moment, whether it is a supernova exploding or your superego attacking you. All of it is Holy Will.

Holy Freedom, the other aspect of this Holy Idea, is understanding functioning or will from the perspective of Holy Transparency. Holy Transparency, discussed in the previous chapter, is the perception that one exists as a human being who is completely inseparable from the whole. Therefore, your functioning and your actions are inseparable from the functioning of the whole, and are in complete harmony with its functioning. You are, in a sense, a co-creator, a participant in the expression of Holy Will. This is the experience of Holy Will acting through you, and we call that experience Holy Freedom. Holy Freedom, then, means that your action is not separate from the action of the universe, so your will is not separate from the will of the universe. There is, therefore, no conflict between your will and the will of the universe; your will is not opposed to that of the universe or disharmonious with it.

Source: A. H. Almaas, Facets of Unity

Sources

Marshall Æon

The Heroic Enneagram

I originally intended for this page to be a curation of my favorite Enneagram resources, but I discovered that I had much of my own to contribute (Strengths, Weaknesses, Personal Growth). In fact, soon I found myself actually writing a book! It's still a work in progress.

You can sign up to be notified when this book is published:

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Russ Hudson

"I met Russ at a Diamond Approach event, which eventually led to me working for the Enneagram Institute for 3 years. During that time, I received multiple trainings from Russ and we made the below video together, which I've transcribed for the Spirituality section. You can follow Russ on Twitter, which is where he posted the info that I reproduced in the Instinctual Variants section."

Elizabeth Wagele

"I had lunch with Elizabeth Wagele a few times and we were planning to collaborate on a project. But sadly it never happened because she passed away a short time later. 😔 She wrote what is probably the most popular Enneagram book of all time, The Enneagram Made Easy. It's been translated into 17 languages! While it's not perfect, this is a great book for beginners, and makes ample use of cartoons so that even children can enjoy it. The Parenting section of this page comes from her book, Enneagram of Parenting.

Nick Turner

"Nick was one of the first people to become certified to teach the Enneagram by the Enneagram Institute in 1992. When I first began studying the Enneagram over 15 years ago, Nick's type descriptions were my favorite on the internet. I've reproduced parts of them here for the Nine with Eight Wing and Nine One Wing sections. Back then, he published them on a whimsical website that he called Curiosity Junction. His new website is called Intuitive Enneagram, which you can visit for his full type descriptions. Nick offers an Enneagram Discovery Retreat at the Willowspring retreat center in northwest Oregon."

A. H. Almaas

"I consider A. H. Almaas one of the greatest spiritual teachers of all time. That's why I joined his inner work school and I've been a student of his Diamond Approach for 13 years. The Holy Ideas part of the Spirituality section of this page comes from the book, Facets of Unity, which goes into the different non-dual perspectives of unity that the Enneagram reveals. This is an advanced spiritual teaching for those looking to deepen their understanding of unity consciousness."

Ginger Lapid-Bogda, PhD

"Ginger is no fan of Enneagram tests but she has been recommending my Enneagram test for a few years now. She's been teaching the Enneagram for decades around the world and now she trains coaches. Ginger recently published an excellent book on the Art of Typing (which I've excerpted in the Typing section, but there's much more in the book).

Michael J. Goldberg

"I'm featuring Michael's excellent work applying the Enneagram to the workplace, but Michael also has traced the Enneagram back to Ancient Greece, in Homer's Odyssey, which I find utterly fascinating."

David Daniels

"David Daniels cofounded The Narrative Enneagram with Helen Palmer and was clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University Medical School for over 30 years. He passed away on 2017 and you can watch a memorial video made by Suzanne Dion. The Love and Relationships section on this page comes the Enneagram Relationships Matrix on David's website."

🗃️

6

The Ultimate Guide to

Enneagram Type 6

The Shield • Loyalist • Six

"Welcome, Friend!"

New and Improved

Coming Soon

Table of Contents

Enneagram Type 6 Strengths

Support

Loyalty

Steadfastness

Courage

Teamwork

Alertness

Problem Solving

Enneagram Type 6 Weaknesses

Worry

Self-Doubt

Indecision

Mistrust

Suspicion

Alarmism

Self-Sacrifice