I created this guide to connect people like you with the best Enneagram teachers I know so you can understand yourself and others better. There's a lot here, so it's best that you read a little at a time and then come back later to learn more.
When Type Twos are in touch with their strengths–and aren’t succumbing to their Achille Heel–they bring others the gift of a warm, loving embrace. These are the powers of The Gift:
Twos are amazing helpers that are able to tune-in to your specific needs and provide the exact kind of help needed to move forward.
Twos are deeply in touch with the feelings of those close to them. This allows Twos to anticipate the needs of their loved ones.
Twos are great at connecting and forming bonds with others.
Twos are able to get to know people intimately, helping others feel seen and understood.
Twos can put others before themselves, focusing on making sure everyone’s needs are getting met.
Twos provide others with a great deal of time, energy and attention.
Twos often express a positive attitude that’s uplifting to those around them.
Source: The Heroic Enneagram, by Marshall Æon
🤕 Achilles Heel: The fear of not being worthy of love. When Type Twos succumb to their Achille Heel, their strengths become weaknesses.
Twos can manipulate others using complaints and guilt when others aren’t returning the love that they expect to receive.
Everyone has needs, but Twos can become overly needy in their search for appreciation, attention and gratitude.
Twos can display feelings that seem overly loving and saccharine sweet, leading others to mistrust their sincerity.
In the effort to be seen as worthy of love, Twos can say things that others want to hear and lose themselves in pleasing people.
Because Twos put so much time and energy into others, they become possessive of those people.
In the search for ways they can help, Twos can become overly intrusive in the lives of those close to them.
The downside of being selfless is that Twos sometimes end up sacrificing themselves and denying their own needs.
When Twos don’t communicate their needs, their loved ones naturally are unable to meet those needs. The Two can become resentful when they’re giving so much but it seems that nobody cares about their needs.
Source: The Heroic Enneagram, by Marshall Æon
Ones offer steadfastness, dependability, and industry, while Twos offer emotion, optimism, attention to the relationship, and pizzazz – a good combination. The One, however, can experience the Two as being too tied to the relationship and even dependent and unnecessarily helpful. The One can receive the Two’s abundance of good advice as criticism. The Two, in turn, can feel unappreciated, judged as being hedonistic and giving too much, and therefore not acknowledged by the emotionally restrained One. A cycle of heightening conflict can manifest with criticism and counter-criticism about what is wrong, who needs help, and what constitutes care. This can lead to estrangement, especially since neither type is good at expressing desires and needs (even though Twos can be on the hedonistic side in the service of others). As a result, estrangement and deadening can lead to disruption of the relationship.
Twos join together in valuing a focus on relationships and in appreciating the nurturing quality and sensitivity to feelings in each other. Having little awareness of their own needs, however, they may become overly solicitous with each other, compete for approval, and feel unappreciated, unfulfilled, and (ironically) unconnected. Since neither partner is oriented toward receiving or asking, there is no natural counterbalance to the two partners’ mutual tendency to focus on the other. Failure to get into the natural flow of giving and receiving, can lead to emotional upset and to who is dependent on whom. Ultimately hurt feelings may then ensue leading to angry, emotional outbursts and ultimately to withdrawal or rejection. There just may not be enough flow of giving and receiving to sustain the relationship.
Twos and Threes join together in accomplishing shared goals and in keeping life up and positive, usually with Twos supporting Threes’ goals and accomplishments, hoping to be appreciated in return. Conflict occurs when Twos experience Threes as discounting feelings and relationship issues, while Threes experience Twos as getting off task and wanting too much time and attention. A cycle of increasing conflict can result with the two types polarizing – the Two feeling rejected, getting emotional, and emoting anger and with the Three feeling unrecognized and impatient and then disappearing into work. This pattern can result in withdrawal and eventually in alienation end to the relationship.
Twos try to satisfy the apparently needy Fours, attempting to fulfill their needs. They can get caught up in the emotions and intensity of Fours and lose their own sense of separateness. A cycle of escalating conflict can result with the Two becoming impatient with the seeming resistance, inaction, and self-centeredness of the Four, who in turn, can be put off by the Two’s seeming “superficialness,” pride, inability to stand alone, and/or apparent smothering. Then the Four may become scornful and/or feels rejected and pull away and the Two feeling unappreciated and rejected may erupt in emotion. This cycle could lead to an unraveling of the relationship.
Twos appreciate Fives’ intellect, calmness, and restraint. Fives appreciate Twos’ support and engagement. This relationship is truly an attraction of opposites. However, in wanting more connection and acknowledgement, Twos try to bring Fives forward into feelings and more sustained contact. Then Twos active energy can feel intrusive, overly emotional, and demanding to Fives, who then contracts and disengages. This can result in an escalating cycle of intrusion by the “rejected” Two and withdrawal by the “smothered” Five. Angry outbursts, alienation, and even disruption of the relationship can ensue.
Twos want to help doubting, questioning Sixes who seem to need support and reassurance. Moving forward to help out, they may find that Sixes mistrust and resist intrusion and test Twos’ motives. Thus, while appreciating Twos support and care, Sixes may back off from or confront what they experience as too much attention. Twos, while appreciating the Six’s usual warmth and loyalty, may then feel unappreciated, turned off, or rejected by the Six’s seeming negativity. A cycle of escalating conflict can result polarizing the situation with the Six getting accusatory and the Two getting emotional. Withdrawal can ensue as one or the other or both types attempt to reduce distress. Eventually, this pattern can cause a lasting disruption of the relationship.
Both types enjoy the strengths they share in common – especially flexibility, friendliness and the love of freedom and the good life. However, Twos can find Sevens overly self-referencing and self-serving, hence not paying enough attention to the relationship or sufficiently reciprocating in give and take. Twos can then feel neglected and unappreciated and become emotional, demanding, and guilt provoking. Sevens, on the other hand, can find Twos overly focused on others, intrusive, and too needy of attention. A cycle of ever-increasing conflict can occur as the Seven, feeling smothered and limited, can respond with escapism and rationalization and the Two with angry outbursts and emotionality, possibly resulting in alienation and deterioration and even destruction of the relationship.
Twos are attracted to Eights’ strength, power, zest for life, and support. Eights are naturally attracted to Twos’ attentiveness, active energy, helpfulness, and big-heartedness. However, Eights can find Twos to be too intrusive, dependent on approval and appreciation, and controlling through feelings, while Twos can experience Eights as overly confrontive, easily angered, insensitive to their impact, and dominating with their “truth.” A cycle of escalating conflict can result when the Two tries to soften and contain the Eight and assert control. In turn, the Eight often resists the influence and may react to feeling contained or manipulated with more confrontation and anger. Feeling rejected and devalued, the Two may withdraw or burst out in anger and emotion. This all can result in a deep rift in the relationship and repeated cycles of uncontained reactivity leading to destruction of the relationship.
Twos and Nines get along well together because they both are sensitive, pleasing, helpful, and accommodating. But conflict arises when Twos become overly helpful and intrusive in an effort to get Nines to set priorities, take initiatives, and say what they need even though Twos have great difficulty themselves with experiencing what they need. Nines try to keep things steady, comfortable, pleasant, and focused on what the Twos need, all of which can frustrate Twos’ efforts. Then Nines may become stubborn and resistant in response to what feels like pressure and directives, and can eventually get overtly angry, distance themselves, or just “space out.” A cycle of escalating conflict can result with the Two, feeling frustrated, trying harder and eventually emoting anger to avoid feeling useless and unfulfilled while the Nine just digs in further with a stubborn anger to avoid being overwhelmed by the Two’s active and intrusive energy. When this pattern persists, the relationship can deteriorate and even dissolve.
Source: David Daniels
Twos are "people" people, and for them every business is a people business. Jim Autry, the former publishing executive, succinctly states the Two credo when he writes, "There is no busniess. There are only people." Mary Kay Ash, the cosmetics magnate and one of the most successful woman entrepreneurs ever, is a Two. "To me 'P & L' meant much more than profit and loss," she wrote; "it meant people and love."
Twos zero in on the emotional needs of individuals around them–their boss, colleagues, or customers–and then deftly, actively, relentlessly, expertly respond to them. They are what psychoanalyst Harry Guntrip called "the doing breast." They are the extraordinarily prescient secretary or personal assistant and the empathic, nurturing, I-take-care-of-my-brood boss. Twos see themselves as–and often are–the power behind the throne.
As such, Twos have considerable power and influence. They can make their lack of formal authority seem fairly irrelevant. When I worked in a small government agency, the agency director's secretary, a Two, essentially ran the whole place. As the boss's gatekeeper–a standard Two position–she determined who got to see him and when, and what papers reached his desk. He was a Six who was grateful that she kept supplicants at bay. She knew his priorities; she expertly ministered to his bosses; and she took personal care of him: she was not offended to fetch his coffee and his lunch.
Twos can be true guardian angels of a project or an organization. They are responsible, engaged, and accountable. Genuinely empathetic, they build their lives around the people who matter to them. They sense when someone's feelings are hurt, and they know what to do to soothe them. They pick up on potential animosity between co-workers and make skillful efforts to bring them together.
For his part, the Two doesn't ask for much, directly. But there's a catch. Twos believe that by exepertly meeting your needs, they should get theirs met, also expertly.
And what Twos want as their part of the bargain is for people they value (like you) to depend on and therefore appreciate them. Seductive, skilled at pulling those hidden strings, they are as adept at making others depend on them as Threes are at getting the job done. Gradually Twos become powerful and influential because important people rely on them.
Twos run a seductive bait-and-switch power game. "I am only here to help you get well," says the Two nurse, "and in order for me to do that, things must be done just my way." The Two takes control, but only for your benefit.
They enjoy basking in the reflected glory, particularly in the appreciation they get for being the linchpin: central and essential. "Aren't I a damn fine therapist?" asks my friend Susan when she hears of the worldly successes of one of her clients.
Twos at their best offer healtfelt, customized service without strings; at their worst, they may implicate you in a tangle of unspoken obligations. Many twos have elements of both types.
Source: The 9 Ways of Working, Michael J. Goldberg
Source: The Enneagram Made Easy, Baron & Wagele
Type Two children generally want to be good and get to school on time. For many, though, the drama of dealing with a homeless kitten found on the way will take precedence. Hopefully, their teacher will see the virtue in this if it doesn't happen too often.
Two-ish children, more than others, may want to continue interacting with their classmates when school lets out instead of buckling down to homework. If possible, have them start their homework right after school, and reward them with free time later. If separation from their friends is too wrenching, either have them do their homework together or schedule it regularly for later in the day. Since Two-ish children are sensitive and want to please, give them consistency and structure and try not to treat them in a heavy-handed way.
Most children in the Helper style are well behaved and polite–superficially at least. For those who are excitable and attention seeking, think of constructive outlets for their energy and have projects ready for when riding in the car, on the bus, and so on. Enforce certain rules, such as no grabbing at others' belongings and no hitting, but otherwise teach them manners little by little. In some Two-ish children, disobedience could be a positive sign that they're willing to risk disapproval. Two-style children may hide or deny their hostile feelings, even while expressing them. If someone suggests Two-ish children have angry motivations, they either may have no idea what the person is talking about or may become devastated. Let them know over a period of time that moderate anger is acceptable to you, both from them and from people in general. Tell them it's okay to be angry.
Some Type 2 children are socially adept. However, they may have a tendency to be manipulative, overly controlling, or bossy. When they're direct and treat others fairly, be sure to praise them. If they uncharacteristically shy away from other children, look for possible reasons and talk to them about it. Take charge and invite classmates over to have a party, draw, or play games. Try to teach them they don't need approval from everyone.
With all children, avoid serious conflicts over sleeping and eating. If they have problems with sleeping or if they experience night terrors, try and comfort them. If they're fussy eaters, trust this to improve with age. Don't interfere by critizing, hovering over them, or putting them on diets. If problems persist, seek professional help.
Wanting to be with other children usually motivates Two-ish children. See if you can encourage enthusiasm for nonsocial as well as social activities. Take Two-ish children to visit some workplaces: yours or your friends'. Go for a walk in the woords or on the beach just to be together in nature without talking. Enroll them in interesting classes, and take them to a large variety of museums, aquariums, and other sights.
Most Type Two children are extroverted and want to be seen in a good light. Take their opinions seriously and express your confidence in them in order to help them become more self-reliant and assertive. Some give in too easily, but others are spunky and can be extremely persuasive.
Type Two children are often out of touch with their real desires: they may wait and see what everyone else is going to do, or they may do what they think will make others like them. Help them connect with themselves by asking which tastes, colors, and smells they prefer.
Type 2 children live in the world of relationships and feelings. It's very important to them to be liked. Balance their focus on people by telling them about the world and how things work. If you don't accept their emotionality, they may feel you don't love them, so listen to their hurts and take their feelings seriously. They need a large base of support; if they receive sufficient approval at home, they won't need to seek it in unhealthy ways. Try to see conflicts their way, and encourage them to be direct.
Type 2 children get practice being responsible by doing what they love to do: taking care of pets, soothing friends, and trying to help people solve problems. They can read people well, and they may use this ability either for great good or to get their way. Steer them away from manipulating others by being direct yourself; let her know you are letting her go to her friend's house to wrap gifts because you really like the idea, not just because she charmed you into it. Some styles of chlidren, especially Twos and Threes, are more focused on what others think about them (their image) than with what they think or feel themselves. If your child is a Two and you're not, try to accept your differences, and be ready to help your child develop his or her own values and individuality.
Source: The Enneagram of Parenting, by Elizabeth Wagele
The Self Preservation 2: the passion of pride in the Self Preservation zones. I translate pride here as: "I don't need this, but YOU do, so let me do this for you." Pride here means let me attend to your SP needs. This kind of 2 gets concerned about the health, wellbeing, and practical needs of others.
SP2s can be quiet powerhouses--Don used to call them "the iron fist in the velvet glove." As SP dominant types, they have strong willpower and know-how to get things done. But of all the 2s they have the most inhibition about doing things for themselves. Shame arises around need.
Self Preservation Twos may have skills in any of the SP zones, but tend to project their needs so it can be harder to detect. An SP2 may be a great healer, yet lack self-care. SP2s can wear themselves out doing their best to make sure others are cared for. They can be practical for others too.
When troubled, SP2 can develop psychosomatic problems–their bodies pay the bill for unprocessed emotions. Of the Twos they are more likely to seek sympathy for their sacrifices. But at their best, they learn genuine self-care and can be truly gifted at addressing real needs.
Naranjo called SP2 "Me First," but I find this one of the most problematic names. It has also led to people thinking of this as "the 2 that doesn't give" which in my experience is actually another type. And it overlooks the nature and particular distortion that pride creates.
Thus, in Naranjo's 27 subtypes, the caregiver, self-sacrificing type disappears. It is not described. Clearly, there are many people for whom this is a central structure. Again, pride means "I don't need it. But I can give it to you." This gets focused in different instincts.
I have called SP2 "Entitlement" and "Rewards." After giving so much to others, I deserve to get MY self preservation needs met. I have earned them. But often our "rewards" are not what we actually need, i.e., sugar. Self Preservation 2 inner critic can be harsh–I can address my needs AFTER helping others.
Self preservation Two is a great example of how type doesn't tell us everything. SP2s can be creative, brilliant, talented, funny and many other wonderful qualities. Yet the PATTERN of SP2 tends to be what I get caught in--what limits the true expression of my gifts and keeps me alienated from myself.
A personal point on SP2: I am always moved by the fundamental kindness and care of SP2s that extends to every kind of being, as well as their understanding that life is about service. SP2s may have great knowledge and skill, but they know that such gifts are for the benefit of all.
The Social 2: pride in the Social zones. "I don't need this but you do. Let me do that for you." S02s are the matchmakers of the Enneagram, supporting people and causes they believe in and see ways people can connect for mutual benefit. They are good mentors, seeing the gifts of others.
Social Twos are more often successful working with organizations than the other 2s. They have good emotional intelligence although they often FEEL awkward themselves. People generally like them although when they are insecure, others may notice them trying to hard to be appreciated.
SO2s focus on the building relationship zone of SO. They remember things about people & have a gift for making others feel included, wanted, and appreciated. They make their way in life by using their social gifts to create alliances around their work and meaningful causes.
When troubled, SO2s can overbearing & manipulative, often w/o realizing it. Their efforts to make themselves important to others often alienate people. At their best, they create conditions of welcome, acceptance, and a powerful sense of shared purpose. Great facilitators.
Naranjo called S02 Ambition. Yes, but I'd call it UNCONSCIOUS ambition. Social Twos often do not realize how ambitious they are. They can even feel shame around their desires to be important/central, so rise through their affiliations w. others. I call SO2 Everybody's Friend.
The 2's capacity for noticing others emotions is strong here. SO2s move toward other people, making a point to create positive friendly interactions with strangers–getting a smile from the lady at the checkout counter. They are also more shrewd and political than the SP and SX 2s.
Social 2s are not caregivers like SP2s, but they help by nurturing capacities & by creating opportunities and connections for others. They take joy in seeing others flourish, but when less healthy are afraid of being cut out of relationships between people they've introduced or helped.
The Sexual 2: the passion of pride in the Sexual zones. For me, this is "I don't really need sexual energy, but you do, so let me give it to you." SX2s have high energy and are often quite outgoing. They engage the world with humor and a bold spirit and they are often mistaken for 7s.
Sexual Twos are often described as seductive, but really all SX types can be seductive. SX2s conquer the objects of their attraction by lavishing them with attention and interest. Even though they are good at transmitting their own SX charisma, their power lies in focusing on others.
Sexual 2s focus on the attraction and merging zones of SX inst. They have the ability to make other people feel attractive and desirable--a very winning formula. They pick up on the interests of those they are drawn to and learn about those interests. The seek to create deep connection
When troubled, SX2s can get obsessed with the objects of their attraction–feeling rejected yet unable to accept the rejection. This can lead to aggressive behavior. At their best, they are creative champions of others, deeply loyal friends and companions, and inspiring healers.
Naranjo called SX2 Aggression. True, but I feel this is too much part of the pathology of Sexual 2–not where most people will find themselves. I call this combo "Craving Intimacy." 2's desire for intimacy and closeness combines with SX instinct's need for energetic fusion.
The type and instinct combine here to create a powerful drive toward certain others. The result is a person who seeks intense closeness with specific people, although not with everyone! Sexual Twos want to have a few key relationships and to earn a special place in others' lives.
This drive for closeness can create problems with jealousy and possessiveness. But when SX2s work thru these issues they are extraordinary friends. They reclaim their own energy and can be highly creative, especially in the performing arts. They can convey powerful emotions.
It's interesting to note that all 2s often have many unused talents and capacities, i.e. math ability or skill in visual art. When 2s learn to reclaim themselves, finding their own beautiful center again, they often have a personal renaissance, exploring their once neglected gifts.
Source: Russ Hudson on Twitter
Type Twos want to be liked by those who are in need, by important people, and by those who are important to them; attempt to feel worthy and valued by offering gifts, attention, resources, and advice to others; lose connection with what they themselves truly want and deeply need.
The confusion between type 1 and type 2 does happen, most commonly because type 1 and type 2 are adjacent to one another on the Enneagram and, therefore, are wings of each other. A person might be a 1 with a 2 wing or a 2 with a 1 wing. In additino, because 1s tend to be polite and gracious, this behavior can be confused with the friendliness and helpfulness of most 2s.
The confusion between type 2 and type 3 is quite common, primarily because both 2s and 3s are Heart Center types who are attuned to the reactions of others. They also sit adjacent on the Enneagram symbol and, therefore, are wings of one another. A person might be a 2 with a 3 wing or a 3 with a 2 wing. In addition, there can be an interesting combination of sweetness and toughness in both 2s and 3s. On the outside, 2s appear sweeter and kinder; however, many 2s have a strong inner will or backbone made of stainless steel. 3s, by contrast, can appear a little tougher on the outside, as if nothing really bothers them, but inside, many 3s are tender, sensitive, and kind.
The confusion between type 2 and type 4 occurs frequently, primarily because (1) both 2s and 4s are Heart Center types, sharing the common emotion of sadness or sorrow as an underlying emotional state and creating an image as a substitute for who they are underneath the image; (2) both are emotional types who are attuned to feelings, although 2s attune to the feelings of others and 4s attune more to their own feelings; and (3) both sit on the Enneagram symbol as allow lines of one another. A person might be a 2 with strong access to his or her 4 arrow or a 4 with strong access to his or her 2 arrow.
The confusion between type 2 and type 5 is not really that common for a number of reasons. First, 2s are formed in the Heart Center and are typically very warm and not hesitant to ask about the feelings of others. In fact, 2s ask others many questions of all kinds, with 2s perceiving this as a way of establishing and maintaining a good relationship. 5s, by contrast, are an Enneagram type formed in the Head Center, and they deal with the Head Center's central emotion of fear by cutting off from their feelings in real time, but also by withdrawing or pulling away from direct engagement with others. 5s rarely share their emotions with others unless they really trust the persona and are the least likely of all Enneagram types to ask inquisitive questions about another person's feeling state or personal life.
The confusion between type 2 and type 6 is not really that common, but it can happen if the person is a self-preservation subtype of either type. Self Preservation 6s are called "warm" 6s, and they use the warmth and friendliness as a hedge against their anxieties and insecurities. They draw people to them with their warmth and forge strong bonds, unconsciously reasoning that there is a safety in the protection of the group. Self-preservation subtype 2s are the most anxious of the 2s, and they can appear to need and want the protection of others. These 2s are also less trusting and more worried than the other two subtypes of 2 and, thus, share some similarities with self-preservation subtype 6s.
The confusion between type 2 and type 7 is reasonable common, even though there are distinct differences betwene the two types. 2s and 7s form part of what is called the "optimistic triad," which means they (along with type 9) tend to have a positive outlook on life, even embelling reality. Amplifying this confusion, social subtype 7, called "sacrifice," is a look-alike for type 2. These 7s will sacrifice their need to have what they want when they want it on behalf of the group–at least, momentarily–and may appear to themselves to be more like 2s.
The confusion between type 2 and type 8 reasonable common, especially, but not only, among women. The reason for that is that 2s and 8s are on arrow lines of one another; some 8 women, depending on their culture and family context, may perceive type as too bold or "masculine" and gravitate to their 2 arrow line. Male and female 2s also access their 8 arrow line when they get angry, access their own power, and take a strong stand on issues. Thus, 2s can, at times, be a force to be reckoned with, much like 8s. Similarly, when 8s are cmofrotable and open-hearted, they can be generous and deeply compassionate, much like 2s.
The confusion between type 2 and type 9 is one of the most common, and there are many reasnos for this. Even though 2s are a Heart Center type and 9s are a Body Center type, 9s can be very healtfelt, people-oriented, and relational, much like 2s. In addition, buth 2s and 9s are part of the "optimistic triad"–along with Enneagram 7s–so both 2s and 9s smile quite a lot and adept at interactions that cause others to feel good.
Source: The Art of Typing by Ginger Lapid Bogda
People whose dominant Harmonic approach is the Positive Outlook approach are generally optimistic and tend to avoid negative thoughts or situations. Under stress, they seek to avoid the problem, distract themselves with something else, or minimize the problem. These types want to feel good and want others around them feel good. They would rather have everyone happy (including themselves) than to deal with problems or negativity (especially in themselves). Unfortunately this approach can lead them to deny the existence of their problems and therefore delay addressing them. These types also have issues with finding a balance between meeting their own needs and meeting the needs of others.
Twos can get into conflicts by being too clingy, worried, and self-important. Twos tend to focus on their own positive qualities, while repressing their own negative thoughts or feelings. Twos believe that they are good and that their good intentions will win them positive approval from others. What others think of Twos is very important to Twos. As a result, Twos are always looking for ways to meet the needs of others and finding ways to please others. Twos often reject their own needs in favour of fulfilling the needs of others.
Source: Rob Fitzel
Average 2/1 combines oneish judgment with twoish people-pleasing. 2/1s are tighter and more rigid than 2/3s, but less exacting than 1/2s. They regulate their behavior carefully, in order to always stay polite and proper. Overall, they want to put on a happy face, but because of repressed anger (from the one-wing) and repressed personal needs (from the two), their happy face might sometimes be pinched with tension. They are less interested in appearing sexy and glamorous than 2/3, and they are more interested in becoming indispensable than 1/2.
Healthy 2/1s often find that their true calling involves helping others grow, especially children. They become able to help themselves as wisely and lovingly as they help others. They enjoy watching people find their own calling, accepting the delightful differences among us. Sevenish joy from the one wing’s integration combines with fourish depth and empathy. The result is tolerant, patient celebration of growth and diversity.
Advanced 2/1s are in contact at the same time with deep love and inspired wisdom. They are especially good at helping those who are in the most desperate possible situations. They plunge boldy into terrifying scenes and bring glorious hope, love, and healing with them. Usually it is the least self-sufficient who benefit the most from their endless charity.
Unhealthy 2/1s lose the ability to sense their own needs, and become more likely to actually speak their negative judgments of others. Their increasing self-criticism usually gets repressed, because the vainglory of the two is more powerful in them than the guilt of the one. Their inner conflict is as dangerous and powerful as that of the 1/2, but less visible because it is heavily repressed by self-deception. The most obvious sign of the escalating inner struggle might be increasing facial tension.
Eventually, the breaking point is reached. When two goes to eight, violence erupts. In the name of love, manipulation turns into physical coercion. Self-deception reaches amazing levels as destructive acts are rationalized into hard love. Fourish guilt is submerged and converted into further denial. (I am doing this for your own good, and it hurts me more than it hurts you.) In the end, “loving confrontations” may generate such hatred and fear in others that psychotic 2/1 may become the target of violence, as well as the origin.
Most 2/1s prefer to dress conservatively, but stylishly. Neatness is important. Nothing too bold or outrageous. Elegance and poise, quietly distinctive with maybe a sparkle of jewelry or a colorful tie. Like 1/2, they hold themselves carefully erect, and sometimes seem to be looking down their nose. They might have a tendency to be a little more formal than is really necessary.
Some 2/1s find work that helps them take care of other people while also teaching them. Hosts of children’s TV shows, TV chefs, kindergarten teachers, professional nannies, museum guides, school principals, authors of children’s books. Disciplined helpers, like nurses, dental aides, secretaries, telephone operators. Others find fulfillment by being housewives (or husbands), managing their homes with firm correctness. There are 2/1 actors, doctors, flight attendants, and comedians. Of course, 2/1s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.
Source: Intuitive Enneagram, Nick Turner
Average 2/3 is more outward than 2/1. The ambitious vanity of three combines with two‘s desire to be loved, and the result is someone who is not afraid to step into the spotlight. 2/3s usually have a seductive, playful side, unlike the more serious 2/1s. The three-wing gives them a showy, mainstream kind of appearance-consciousness. The twoish desire to please others is stronger than the threeish desire to be admired, although both desires are present.
Healthy 2/3s get beyond the immediate desire to please. Image-consciousness and pride drop away and they become able to experience real, heartfelt love. They no longer need the constant reassurance of someone else’s admiring gratitude. Two integrates to four, opening up new realms of creative expression, while the three goes to six, bringing in a deeper appreciation of the value of belonging to a real community of friends. They become genuine, loving companions.
An extremely awake 2/3 is someone whose generosity is so continuous and so genuine that it seems to be an inseparable part of the personality. Never is there even the tiniest hint that anything is expected in return — in fact, extremely advanced 2/3 sometimes becomes so good at giving that the recipient never finds out where the help came from (or even that it has happened). 2/3 saints somehow encourage the universe to shower gifts on others. Generosity comes through them, not from them.
Unhealthy 2/3 becomes less able to restrain repressed desires. In a misguided attempt to get others to meet their (unspoken) needs, they might manufacture more and more imaginary needs to fill for others. Their intrusive, self-satisfied help might cause others to move away. 2/3 may hide the resulting loneliness and anger behind an outwardly carefree appearance, but others can usually see that there is hypocrisy involved.
In the end, very unbalanced 2/3 may break down under the stress. Suddenly the truth pops out from under the increasingly strained wrappings of self-delusion, and in a desperate effort to paste over the uncomfortable vision, they may fly into a homicidal hysteria or a psychotic hell. The repressed feelings of a lifetime spew out in days or weeks. Relationships that have lasted for years might be discarded like used tissue, leaving others desolate and grief-stricken.
2/3s often put a lot of energy into looking good. In Western cultures, females typically wear makeup in almost every public situation, and the males take care to be well-dressed and groomed. Their clothing might be quite attractive, but not necessarily unique. They like a well-dressed, socially approved kind of sexiness. Some of the most conventionally attractive people are young 2/3s, whether they are males or females. Many 2/3 females, and a good many of the men as well, gain lower body weight as they age.
Some 2/3s find work that puts them in the spotlight while allowing them to help others. Restaurant headwaiters, hotel managers, executive secretaries, clothing designers. Others build families of close friends and cater to their needs. Massage therapists, cosmetologists, florists, prostitutes, gigolos, and thousands of career housewives. They might become media stars. Singers, dancers, sex-stars. There are 2/3 retail managers, business leaders, physical therapists, celebrity interviewers, and spouses of powerful people. Of course, 2/3s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.
Source: Intuitive Enneagram, Nick Turner
Source: The Heroic Enneagram, by Marshall Æon
"The Enneagram is a lens that can be used independently of any spiritual, religious, or mystical belief. Both religious and non-religious people can find immense value in using the Enneagram. However, some people find value in examining their spiritual lives through the lens of the Enneagram. This brings greater objectivity and self-awareness to the spiritual path. Many Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and atheists have found the Enneagram complementary to their unique views and beliefs." –Marshall Æon
"Two is the part of us that is aware of heart connection, is aware of relatedness, of how none of us is alone. And we're here to take care of each other, to address each other's needs, to be sensitive to the needs of others. Two is the part of us where our heart goes out to others. And so people who are Twos, that's a primary value to the people who are thinking about other people. They're the people who are focused on the needs of others, there are people for whom love and kindness is a huge value. And when Twos are in their power, they're just amazing at being sensitive to people and what's needed and what will help the relational world work. The challenge, though, is that they can get so focused on that, that they forget to take care of their own needs. And the more that they do that, the more it tends to disrupt their relationships. It makes it very hard for them to speak to what they need, and it tends to cause them to do things for other people that they don't necessarily want or require. Of course, that can make things quite painful for the Twos and very difficult for the people that they care about. "
Because what happens is the functioning of the organism that is the universe, there is no randomness to the changes that occur within it. Events may appear random to our subjective point of view, but from an objective perspective, an inherent intelligence is seen to be operating, moving things in a particular direction. As Albert Einstein is reputed to have said, “God does not play dice with the universe.” This means that the universe does not function mechanically; it is a living, conscious presence, so its functioning is an organic unfoldment. Perceiving that the functioning of the universe has a particular momentum, and moves in a particular direction with a particular intelligence and a particular force, is the meaning of Holy Will. You are seeing, in other words, that there is a unified will in the total functioning of the universe. Implicit in this perception is seeing all change in the universe as a functioning, a doing. This means that the movement of a star is action and not simply change; it is the action of Holy Truth.
So Holy Will is nothing mysterious, but very few people actually come to know it directly. It is a very subtle and deep perception of the operation of Holy Truth. At the same time, we can experience it as whatever is happening at any moment, whether it is a supernova exploding or your superego attacking you. All of it is Holy Will.
Holy Freedom, the other aspect of this Holy Idea, is understanding functioning or will from the perspective of Holy Transparency. Holy Transparency, discussed in the previous chapter, is the perception that one exists as a human being who is completely inseparable from the whole. Therefore, your functioning and your actions are inseparable from the functioning of the whole, and are in complete harmony with its functioning. You are, in a sense, a co-creator, a participant in the expression of Holy Will. This is the experience of Holy Will acting through you, and we call that experience Holy Freedom. Holy Freedom, then, means that your action is not separate from the action of the universe, so your will is not separate from the will of the universe. There is, therefore, no conflict between your will and the will of the universe; your will is not opposed to that of the universe or disharmonious with it.
Source: A. H. Almaas, Facets of Unity
I originally intended for this page to be a curation of my favorite Enneagram resources, but I discovered that I had much of my own to contribute (Strengths, Weaknesses, Personal Growth). In fact, soon I found myself actually writing a book! It's still a work in progress.
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"I met Russ at a Diamond Approach event, which eventually led to me working for the Enneagram Institute for 3 years. During that time, I received multiple trainings from Russ and we made the below video together, which I've transcribed for the Spirituality section. You can follow Russ on Twitter, which is where he posted the info that I reproduced in the Instinctual Variants section."
"I had lunch with Elizabeth Wagele a few times and we were planning to collaborate on a project. But sadly it never happened because she passed away a short time later. 😔 She wrote what is probably the most popular Enneagram book of all time, The Enneagram Made Easy. It's been translated into 17 languages! While it's not perfect, this is a great book for beginners, and makes ample use of cartoons so that even children can enjoy it. The Parenting section of this page comes from her book, Enneagram of Parenting.
"Nick was one of the first people to become certified to teach the Enneagram by the Enneagram Institute in 1992. When I first began studying the Enneagram over 15 years ago, Nick's type descriptions were my favorite on the internet. I've reproduced parts of them here for the Nine with Eight Wing and Nine One Wing sections. Back then, he published them on a whimsical website that he called Curiosity Junction. His new website is called Intuitive Enneagram, which you can visit for his full type descriptions. Nick offers an Enneagram Discovery Retreat at the Willowspring retreat center in northwest Oregon."
"I consider A. H. Almaas one of the greatest spiritual teachers of all time. That's why I joined his inner work school and I've been a student of his Diamond Approach for 13 years. The Holy Ideas part of the Spirituality section of this page comes from the book, Facets of Unity, which goes into the different non-dual perspectives of unity that the Enneagram reveals. This is an advanced spiritual teaching for those looking to deepen their understanding of unity consciousness."
"Ginger is no fan of Enneagram tests but she has been recommending my Enneagram test for a few years now. She's been teaching the Enneagram for decades around the world and now she trains coaches. Ginger recently published an excellent book on the Art of Typing (which I've excerpted in the Typing section, but there's much more in the book).
"David Daniels cofounded The Narrative Enneagram with Helen Palmer and was clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University Medical School for over 30 years. He passed away on 2017 and you can watch a memorial video made by Suzanne Dion. The Love and Relationships section on this page comes the Enneagram Relationships Matrix on David's website."